"Jennifer, would you please take your dirty clothes to the laundry room?"
"Why? They're not dirty."
"I don't care if you think they're dirty or not, they've piled up in your room for a week, Jennifer. I'm the mother in this house and I have asked you to take those clothes to the laundry room."
"But they're not dirty. I don't feel like it right now."
"You're pushing it.*
Does this conversation sound familiar? This kind of sassy talk marks a pivotal transition in teen attitudes towards your parental authority. What can you do?First, it's important to understand that there are major changes occurring in your daughter's body. Girls are also on a journey of discovering who they are. The way they do that is through doing things they like to do, various hobbies, trying new make-up and techniques for "enhancing" their look, and changing the way they dress by experimenting with various types of clothes to improve their appearance. It's important to understand that what your teen daughter is experiencing is normal. As she gains more independence, she still needs your love and guidance. That being said, there are some things you can do to maintain a healthy relationship with your daughter as she continues to develop:
Every teen girl is unique; however, dealing with your teen during this turbulent time requires that all interactions be had with dignity and respect.
1. Communicate
One of the least effective things you can do is shut down communication. Your daughter needs your love, understanding, and, guidance. So, choose best time to talk. That's usually determined by the purpose for your talk. Are you talking to discipline or to share stories, ideas, information etc.? In either scenario, it's important to keep in mind during communication is the choice of words. There are words that hurt and those that help.
2. Maintain Boundaries
Maintain your parental boundaries by not trying to be your daughter's best friend. That will potentially happen later on during your relationship. When she becomes an adult. For now, continue to parent by keeping your eyes and ears open concerning her daily activities. It's also important to continue to supervise. As their children gain more and more independence, many parents stop watching and supervising as closely. However, your daughter still needs that.
Connect with Mothers and Teen Daughters Healthy Relationships on Facebook! This blog is written by founder of the free signature mother teen daughter healthy relationship workshop I Love You But I Can't Stand You Right Now, Dr. Trevicia Williams (http://www.treviciawilliams.com). Learn more about I Love You But I Can't Stand You at Real Beauty Inside Out Healthy Mother Teen Daughter Relationships http://www.realbeautyinsideout.com
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